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Gone West [Nov. 14th, 2007|02:44 pm]
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[music |Pet Shop Boys – Go West]

Title: Gone West
Author: Teh_no
Rating: PG
Word count: 2,815
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Pairing: Dick/Babs, Barda/Scott
Summary: Barda and Scott are forced to room with Barbara. This complicates Dick’s master plan to fix things with Barbara. His master plan could use some complication, though, seeing as it consisted entirely of...

Hey, Babs, I was in town and I just dropped in for some verbal jousting and possibly a hasty, ill-advised sexual encounter. )
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Lian Has Two Daddies [Nov. 8th, 2007|03:52 pm]
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Title: Lian Has Two Daddies
Author: Teh_no
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 764
Fandom: Teen Titans
Pairing: Dick/Roy
Summary: Lian gets read a bedtime story.

Lian’s trying to fix my relationship with Dick. I have a feeling resistance would be futile. )
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Teen Titans: Five Times Dick Tried To Keep Things Casual With Kory [Oct. 8th, 2007|08:51 am]
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[music |The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be]

Title: Five Times Dick Tried To Keep Things Casual With Kory
Author: Teh_no
Rating: PG
Word count: 2,177
Pairing: Dick/Kory
Fandom: Teen Titans
Summary: Dick is very good at keeping things simple. Kory is better at making them complicated.

Kory had a sometimes faulty command of English, despite the kiss she’d given him… deep, long… maybe if they tried again… oh, she was *good*! )
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Dick/Kory: Tamaran Instinct [Aug. 14th, 2007|05:21 am]
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Title: Tamaran Instinct
Author: [info]teh_no
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,016
Fandom: Batman
Pairing: Dick/Kory
Summary: Every three years, a Tamaranian goes through his or her mating cycle. This time, Kory has no one to call upon but the estranged Dick Grayson. [info]jen_in_japan asked for Kory cliche fic...

So, you just need me to touch you until this thing goes away, right? )
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Robin: Shopping For Groceries At Three A.M. [Aug. 13th, 2007|05:48 pm]
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Title: Shopping For Groceries At Three A.M.
Author: [info]teh_no
Rating: R (for mature themes)
Word Count: 819
Fandom: Batman
Summary: Robin is all grown up.

3 A.M. is a good time because there aren’t a lot of people, which is good, because he hates crowds, but bad, because he also hates being alone. )
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A Librarian's Discipline [Aug. 7th, 2007|03:55 pm]
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Title: A Librarian's Discipline
Author: Teh_no
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,998
Fandom: Batman
Pairing: Dick/Babs
Summary: There is a part of Dick that longs to be pinned down and loved a little bit savagely and hurt just enough to reassure him that he’s alive.

On some level she’s finally fulfilling a need she didn’t even know he had… maybe he didn’t either. )
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Character-bashing fics are a sign of immaturity and weak character. [Aug. 3rd, 2007|12:45 am]
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That said, Dick Grayson, you bitch!


Present-day:

"Are you still mad?" Dick asked. As much tentativeness as that sentence required, Dick was infusing it with as much macho as possible.

"Why would I be angry?" Kory, who was in a mood to do great damage to living matter, settled for chopping fruit. "It's not like you slept with your ex-girlfriend while we were engaged to be married!" She chopped the ever-loving fuck out of those fruits.

"I told you so you wouldn't be angry. You said you wanted us to have an open and honest relationship."

"Not an open relationship, in case you weren't listening."

"Kory, it was years ago and I was going through a really rough patch in my life..."

"Rough patch?" Kory chopped the ever-loving fuck out of the already-chopped ever-loving fuck. "Like that time you were kidnapped, sold into slavery, tortured, experimented on, and exiled onto a strange world where assholes cheated on their fiancées?"

"You're still upset."

"No, Dick. I'm not upset. I'm not upset at all. Do you know why? Because we're even."

"That time you lied to Barbara and didn't tell me she stopped by for..." Kory was shaking her head slowly back and forth, an altogether frightening smile plastered on her face. "Kory, you can't frighten me, okay? I'm not intimidated. So whatever petty little revenge you've come up with, bring it on. Let's just get it over with."

Kory just smiled bigger. "I already brought it on. So you just don't worry about it. We're completely even."

She walked out, running a finger over the answering machine as she left. Dick looked at the machine and its one bright red light. He pressed the button. Bruce's voice came over the line.

"Kory, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed last night, but we should probably stop seeing each other. It's not fair to Dick, what we do behind closed doors..."

Five hours earlier:

"And in what conceivable reality would I pretend I had sex with you to Dick?" Bruce asked.

Kory rubbed her hands together. "You do know me and Dick are involved, correct?"

"Yes," Bruce grumbled.

"And in all likelihood this relationship will develop into reproduction."

Bruce's voice dropped from concrete mixer to diesel engine. "Possibly."

"Well, when that joyous day comes... I could always stick you as the godfather."

"You wouldn't."

"Baby-sitting, changing diapers... would you like to help me pick out wallpaper for the nursery?"

"...what do you want me to say?"

Six hours later:

"I'm not sure it's healthy for someone to spend that much time in the shower," Bruce said, listening to the piteous sobs coming from the bathroom. "When are you going to tell him it was a joke?"

"I think one more bout of vomiting ought to do it."
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Batman: The Furnace Room Goodbye 1/5 [Jul. 29th, 2007|10:09 am]
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Title: The Furnace Room Goodbye 1/5
Author: Teh_no
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,691
Fandom: Batman
Pairing: Dick/Kory
Next: 2/5
A/N: Inspired in part by [info]dragonbat2006's Locked Inside The Facade series, which I highly recommend. AU post-Nightwing 100, Titans Tomorrow, and War Games, ignoring Leslie Thompkins' role in the death. Portions published earlier as Everything's Time.
Summary: Dick has been a ghost in his own life for far too long. In the wake of Bruce's unmasking, he has to become flesh and blood once more.

Whether it was his own apartment or his guest room at the mansion, Gotham had a charge. It was almost addictive. Violent, dark, uncompromising. )
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Once Upon A Time In Metropolis 1/3 [Jun. 3rd, 2007|04:04 pm]
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Title: Once Upon A Time In Metropolis 1/3
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Dick/Babs
Next: 2/3
Summary: After the divorce, Dick wasn't sure he ever wanted to see Barbara again. But when she asked for his help, that option was off the table.

Drifting. Dick supposed you could call it that. He’d been doing it for… God, had it been that long? Two months now. Two months since he signed the divorce papers. He didn’t speak to Barbara. )
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Four People Barbara Gordon Accidentally Had Hot Phone Sex With (And One Person She Intentionally Did [Apr. 15th, 2007|11:59 pm]
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Title: Four People Barbara Gordon Accidentally Had Hot Phone Sex With (And One Person She Intentionally Did)
Author: Teh_no
Rating: R
Fandom: Batman comicverse
Pairing: Babs/Dick, Babs/Dinah, Babs/Tim/Steph, Babs/Cass, Babs/Bruce
Summary: Barbara should be more careful which lines she leaves open.

After all these years, he had no idea she had a phone sex voice. )
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Teen Titans Chapter 1 [Apr. 3rd, 2007|02:35 pm]
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Title: Teen Titans Chapter 1
Author: Teh_no
Rating: PG-13
Previous: Birds of Prey
Next: Teen Titans Chapter 2
Summary: Nightwing struggles to build a team out of a ragtag bunch of misfits.

We're in this position... I think it's our duty to abuse it. - Bono )
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Miss You 1/2 [Mar. 19th, 2007|10:47 pm]
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Title: Miss You 1/2
Author: Teh_no
Rating: G
Fandom: Batman comicverse
Pairing: Dick/Babs
Next: Miss You 2/2
Summary: It's about love.

I had some things to get off my chest, but I guess it can wait until morning. )
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Subtlety [Mar. 1st, 2007|11:42 pm]
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"Okay, that?" Nightwing began, lying back on the couch. "That was a bad one. What with Two-Face and Harley Quinn and the tear gas..."

"Don't remind me," Barbara said, deftly moving out of her wheelchair and onto the seat next to him. "But it's over now. Good guys 1, bad guys zip."

Nightwing peeled off his mask. "Sunny disposition much?"

"Power of positive thinking. Like, for instance..." Barbara got comfortable, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Tell me, what are you doing right now in your life?"

"Right now?" Dick put his feet up on the coffee table. "Right now I'm thinking that there's a very attractive woman in very close physical proximity to her, but that making a pass at her would be... inappropriate. That was my idea of subtle flirting, by the way."

Barbara made a "hmm" sound and quickly reviewed her list of reasons not to get involved again with Richard D. Grayson, which had by now swelled to the double digits. Then she turned her head a little to the side and kissed him.

"What was that?" Dick asked, a bit stunned.

"My idea of subtle flirting."
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Nightwing OYL: So Not The Drama (and that's the problem!) [Feb. 3rd, 2007|12:24 pm]
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Well, people seemed to like my Superman Manifesto, so here's the Nightwing OYL Manifesto.

1. Bludhaven

New Orleans post-Katrina. A year's worth of rebuilding has taken the city out of No Man's Land territory and Whatever Technology has gotten rid of most of the radiation (except for a few cordoned-off "hot spots" for plot point use). Amy Rohrback is now police commissioner and has made Dick Grayson into Inspector Grayson (the same position the late Dudley Soames used to hold). Grayson works outside the police department to solve cases too dirty for other departments. Narcotics, homicide, sex crimes, and especially anything that stinks of metahuman. Think Dirty Harry or Jessica Fletcher.

At the same time, the forces of evil have regrouped too. Dudley Soames/Torque has become the new crime boss of Bludhaven and he has deep roots in the police department. There's a civil war brewing within the very wants of the BPD.

2. Tamaran Quarter

To rebuild the city, the INS (Extraterrestrial Department) issued visas to any Tamaranian that wanted to live there. This was done mainly as a result of a deal between Queen (you heard me) Koriand'r and the federal government to use Tamaran technology to clean up the radiation. The alien immigrants bundle together in Tamaran Quarter, recreating their lost home world as best they can, trying to assimilate to life in the big city. They're ruled over by Kory, although she delegates a lot of the day-to-day work to a democratically-elected community government. Still, tensions run deep between xenophobic humans and paranoid Tamarans (hey, you'd be paranoid too if two of your home planets blew up). Given that Dick Grayson is one of the few Tamaranese-speaking detectives on the force, he quickly becomes a flashpoint between the Tamaranians and the rest of the city. Just trying to keep the peace.

3. Personal Life

Okay, I don't begrudge a Dick/Babs break-up, so long as it's done well. But OFFSCREEN? Jesus, have you guys ever read William Goldman. This is dramatic material and you're... did Hamlet kill Claudius offscreen? Did Luke Skywalker fight Darth Vader offscreen? Whether they stay together or not, we've got the makings of some seriously Tennessee Williams shit right here!

It's OYL and they still haven't tied the knot. Haven't even set the date. Dick Grayson seethes in private over Barbara's cold feet and Barbara wonders why she's so reluctant to marry him. Their relationship has problems. He acts like a child around her; she treats him like a child. He does something wrong, she doesn't talk to him about it, she lectures him, she scolds him. After a year of grin-and-bear-it repression, Dick's had enough. He grabs his coat and walks out the door.

Kory's waiting for him.

Their relationship has problems too. Kory treats him like a man, but she's too forgiving, too enabling. She'd let him get away with murder. For either of these relationships to go forward, things have to change. But that's in the future. Right now, Dick bitches to Kory (and helpfully exposits to the reader) about how bad things have been with Dinah over the lost year. She agrees with him, slyly making him see Barbara as the bad guy. Then she kisses him. Dick smiles, frowns, excuses himself hastily, wipes the alien lipstick off his lips (tastes just the same as it used to), and walks back into his apartment. Barbara is still waiting there for him (she lives in Metropolis with the BOP, but they have JLI teleporters to make the long-distance relationship work. Too sci-fi for the Batbooks? Tough it out). He says he just needed to get some air, she doesn't believe him but doesn't contradict him either. They go to sleep in each other's arms, knowing that things are going to get worse before they get better.

Now, isn't that more interesting than a Dick/Jason/whatsherface love triangle? With golems and male modeling?

4. Villains

Aside from the usual rogue's gallery (why, look at that! They all managed to survive the Chemo blast), there are mutants generated by the radiation running amok. There's Lexcorp, rewarded the contract to rebuild the city and none too happy about "aliens having a foothold on Earth soil." There's the corrupt cops who are trying to set themselves up as feudal overlords in the devastated city. There's all the trouble the Tamaranians bring (three words: Nightwing Vs. Lobo). Ya know. The usual.

5. Supporting Cast

Barbara Gordon, of course, and Dinah Lance is always there to commiserate with her. Clancy has become a doctor and is one of the volunteers in the relief effort; she's Dick's best friend outside of the Batfamily (his Alfred if you will). Amy Rohrbach is police commissioner and there should be some good stuff in how different she is from James Gordon; she knows Dick's secret identity and is willing to take steps to make sure he crosses line.

Also, there's a paroled and "rehabilitated" Tarantula, just to make life interesting. She's still in love with Dick and he still doesn't trust her as far as he could throw King Kong Bundy, but he needs all the allies he can get. Like maybe Jason Todd, who wants to rule Bludhaven's criminal underworld with an iron fist and also severely fuck up Nightwing's shit?

6. In General

Noirish detectives stories mixed with "urban swashbuckler" adventuring. Love affairs that make The OC look like Muppet Babies. Also, since only Nightwing's title is involved in Bludhaven, no split-second rebuilding. The rehabilitation of Bludhaven is a years-long overarc that parallels Nightwing's attempts to fix himself. Although okay on the outside (because otherwise it'd be too depressing to read. I'm looking at you, Devin Grayson), he's a raging powderkeg of repressed trauma on the inside, just waiting to explode and land him in a mental institution. Hopefully, the characterization will lend just as much drama to the proceedings as the plot intrigue and alien stuff.

But no threesomes. Even though Kory suggests it. And Dick thinks about it before saying no. And really, we're just assuming they didn't do it, because there was a lengthy span of time between issues and all the dialogue is layered so you can't tell if they're talking about... okay, I'll stop.

By the second story arc, I promise that, for whatever reason, Dick, Kory, and Barbara will sleep in the same bed.

Fine.

Also, Dick and Roy hug or something. There, everyone happy?
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I Am Bi-Curious (Yellow) [Dec. 29th, 2006|02:21 pm]
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Title: I Am Bi-Curious (Yellow)
Author: Teh_No
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Teen Titans
Pairing: Roy/Dick
Summary: Dinah comes between Roy and Dick.

Okay, that’s just a whole weird area that we are not getting into. We’re just not going there. We’re taking what you just said and everything you may be thinking about right now and we’re putting it in a box and we’re locking that box and we’re throwing that box in the ocean, so you have to be goddamn Jacques Cousteau to get to that box. )
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Dick/Dinah: One Thing Led To Another [Dec. 25th, 2006|12:11 am]
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Title: One Thing Led To Another
Author: Teh_No
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Batman comicsverse
Pairing: Dick/Dinah
Summary: After Dinah sees Dick naked, curiosity gets the better of her.
Author's Notes: Intended as a Yuletide stocking stuffer for [info]pervyficgirl, but couldn't quite get it in under the wire.

One thing had led to another. )
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I write things without headers sometimes. [Dec. 22nd, 2006|01:13 pm]
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"My OTP Has No Angst! Ask Me How!"


"Kory," Dick said upon bursting into her apartment, in that exasperated way he had when he was holding back a great deal of righteous anger. "How long have we known each other?"

Kory didn't even look up from her magazine. "Long enough for it not to be awkward if you need a slumpbuster. Sit down, take a load off, take your pants off."

Dick ignored the usual ribald taunting, instead electing to rip the mag away from her. "All this time, you've been making me jump through hoops to fulfill your crazy Tamaranian rituals. Well, I just got off the phone with your brother and he said Tamaran has no rituals!"

"That's true. They were really more... personal rituals... that I made up. Besides, if you look back, I think you'll find that they were quite humorous jests."

"Jests?" Dick ran his hands through his hair, laughing wildly. "You covered me in Thousand Island Dressing and... and the Jell-O... and Roy watched... cucumbers! You remember the cucumbers!?"

Kory did remember the cucumbers. "It was delicious."

"Well!? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Kory stood up and took off her clothes. "I was thinking I could distract you with sex."

"Aha!" Dick cried triumphantly as Kory fell into his trap. "That won't work! I went to see Barbara before I came over here!"

Kory's face darkened at his effective use of prep-time. "I see the Bat-Man has taught you well. Although I could ask why you care so much about the validity of our rituals if our relationship is as over as you claim."

Dick looked lost as Kory smirked at him. Then he undid his belt. "I intend to distract you with sex."

"Distraction noted and achieved," she said before jumping on him.

Nine Hours Later...

"So... what were we talking about earlier?" Dick asked, out of breath.

"I don't know. I think it had something to do with why you broke up with me."

"We broke up?"

The Moral: Princess Koriand'r's distraction skills are strong-to-quite-strong.
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Ficlet: If I Could Do It All Over Again… [Sep. 13th, 2006|10:51 pm]
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Title: If I Could Do It All Over Again…
Author: Teh_no
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Batman
Summary: Dick would’ve handled the Blockbuster situation differently if he had a second chance…

Please. Just get out of the way. I can save us both… )
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To Sleep, Perchance... – Batman – Barbara Gordon – Touch [Sep. 12th, 2006|04:25 pm]
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Title: To Sleep, Perchance…
Author: Teh_no
Rating: R
Fandom: Teen Titans
Pairing: Dick/Kory/Babs
Prompt: Touch
Summary: Barbara studies everyone who Dick's ever slept with to find out what he sees in them. Sometimes Dick sits in and guides her hand over his lover's body as he tells her what he loves about the third party.

Meanwhile, Kory smiles and pretends she's asleep... )
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These Are A Few Of My Favorite Five Things [Sep. 1st, 2006|11:09 pm]
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Five Things That Would Have Been Different If Sam Winchester Were The Older Brother )

Five Things Wally West Would Never Eat )

Five People Dick Grayson Would Never Have Sex With )

Five People Who Don't Think Peter Parker Is Hot )
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