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From Everything Is Terrible, your source for "what the fuck did I just watch?" [Jul. 13th, 2009|01:15 pm]
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With a chilling insight that would... probably not cut on Star Trek: The Original Series... well, maybe season three... imagine a utopian wonderland where men are constantly complimented on their attractiveness by beautiful women, who then make sexual advances on them day and night. Err, I mean, a horrid dystopia that brings into sharp relief the evils of sexism.

(Whew! That was a close one)
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Man Hater!!! [Apr. 11th, 2009|09:40 am]
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Although at first this just seems like the cliche stating that lesbians hate men, read the tagline closer. It would appear this is the story of a straight woman (bisexual?) who hates men so thoroughly that she relies on lesbians for sex, possibly even all social satisfaction. Which puts the lesbian that falls in love with her in a bit of a spot. If she helps the Man Hater stop hating men, a far more psychologically healthy outlook, will the Man Hater stop loving the lesbian? Oh, it's like Sophie's Choice, only with cunnilingus.
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No, no, and no. [Apr. 8th, 2009|10:19 am]
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Derailing For Dummies.

That is not how you derail an Internet discussion. Who're you gonna believe, me or a bunch of girls? HERE'S how you can derail an Internet discussion, provided free of charge.

"Comedy uses familiar stereotypes to get laughs!"

"Sometimes, female characters are introduced solely to be killed and advance the plot."

"But doesn't it bother you that President Obama hates gay people?"

"How do you feel about the fact that audiences see comdies by creators like Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, and James Franco as more genuine and authentic than female-centric rom-coms?"

"Isn't it odd how many female characters in Watchmen revolve around rape?"

"Having Chinese slang in Firefly shows the influence of Eastern culture a lot better than actually having any Asians on the show."

"Slytherin is just out and out evil; I don't see how anyone could see otherwise."

"So who do you think Dean Winchester would be happy with, Castiel or Sam?"

"Babylon 5 is just a rip-off of DS9."

"I think it's antifeminist to say real gay men should have any say in slash."

"So you see, Starbuck was an angel all along and at the end, she goes back to Heaven."

Know them, love them, use them. Because why derail a discussion when you can just make your enemy's head explode?

ETA: Note that should you try to make your own "derailers," you must be very careful. Think of the derailer as a meme. You must pick the optimum time to use it. Stargate Atlantis being racist is an old meme. You bring that up and there will be only agreement and nodding. Too new a meme... like saying that Watchmen is prejudiced against the lower socio-economic classes... will get no reaction either.

What we're looking for is a nugget of information that has made the enemy come to blows once or twice already, thus leaving old and lingering scars. Something like... the BBC show Merlin reimagining Guinivere as a black woman at the same time she's reimagined as a serving maid to a white woman. We're looking for shock and awe here, people.
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Snow Bunnies [Apr. 6th, 2009|09:02 am]
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"For God's sake, Marsha, the orgy was two hours ago, put some layers on before you catch your death of pneumonia!"
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A Need For Love [Mar. 19th, 2009|11:02 am]
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All the boys laughed at Dallas Mayo in grade school, but he'd seen the fortune teller and knew one day he'd be married to Austin Ham by dint of his prophectic name. And who'd be laughing then? Who'd be laughing then?
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Alone At Last [Mar. 14th, 2009|10:30 am]
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Okay, the boyish teenager is either wearing a mink bra or her nipple is 44-watt. YOU BE THE JUDGE!
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Racefail '09 [Mar. 13th, 2009|12:26 am]
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So, by law, everyone on LJ is required to comment on Racefail 09. I have, really, just two thoughts on this.

First, we're lucky there are no men in LJ fandom. Because can you imagine if this were a bunch of black men getting angry? Oh, fuck! We have dodged a bullet, okay? Luck-e!

Second, every ethnicity group has its weak points. That's just science. For white people, it's race relations. Let's face it, minority groups are our Kryptonite. We just really suck at anything with brown people in it. I mean, look what happens when you try to add Caucasian to rap music.



But hey, you know, black people, you're not perfect. You have your weak point. Tyler Perry, Madea, that ringing any bells?

Yeah, we all know who makes those movies popular and we all know they're not very good. I mean, really now, combining the freshness and hilarity of a man dressed as a woman with the general quality we've all come to associate with Christian fiction? Stroke of genius, that is.

I seem to have wandered a bit, but to get back to my original point, black people, you need to stop watching Tyler Perry movies or it's okay to be racist against you. Teh_no, out!
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Alright, now we're getting into the FETISH-fetish territory [Feb. 28th, 2009|01:14 pm]
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And, for the there really isn't anything new under the sun column...



Can all lesbian pulp become indie movies? Tell me Satan Was A Lesbian wouldn't win big at Sundance. Just try and tell me!
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Babes Behind Bars [Feb. 23rd, 2009|11:39 am]
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Another thing you didn't know about women's prisons (besides the lesbian orgies), it's all tastefully appointed curtains, plush Old World furniture, and mood lighting. It's just like how all women's bathrooms have butlers and complimentary mints and shit.

Man, you chicks get all the breaks.
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All Cats Are Grey [Feb. 16th, 2009|11:07 am]
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Howard Toward? Now you're not even trying, penname dude. Was Jack Mehoff taken?

Now, I've heard some pretty damn oblique references to lesbianism doing this, but fraternity of a third theme? I genuinely don't know if that's referring to lesbians or some kind of crocheting group.

Thirdly--wow, I'm getting a lot of mileage out of this one--what's with the clothes that the one with clothes is wearing? Yellow and green? What does that remind me of?



Right, girl-Loki. I suppose it only makes sense that he... she... Loki would be a lesbian. After all, what guy hasn't dreamed of being a woman for a day and getting fingered by Anne Heche?
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